WildWest Football Board

So it's the offseason and I'm bored... and I probably owe you guys some sort of peace offering as I return to the board so here's something I hope to make regular: what you SHOULD be drinking instead of that camel piss you actually are swilling every Saturday.

As this is the opening I'll throw out a few options, but in the future it should be a 1 to 1 setting.

Don't drink Newcastle Brown Ale.  

Ugh.  This isn't even really a beer... it's brewed with corn grits for goodness sake.  It's about as plain jane dull as a beer gets.

But if you're drinking it you're obviously trying.  You're looking for a good sessionable beer that has some nutty or sweeter flavors, isn't very hoppy or bitter, and isn't so high in ABV that you can't enjoy it all day right?  Well then instead you should

Drink Avery's Ellie's Brown Ale, Rogue's Hazelnut Nectar, or Smuttynose Old Brown Dog ale.

Some people might throw out Big Sky's Moose Drool here too, but while I love that beer I don't think it's quite as sessionable as someone who is looking for a Newcastle replacement might like.  Though I am probably pushing it with Hazelnut Nectar.

Ellie's brown is the safest of these, it's a good solid full bodied brown that isn't too intense anywhere but just exudes Brown Ale.  It's more carmel-ey than the other two and incredibly smooth.  Rogue is a good deal richer and a bit more intense with the roasted flavors (think campfire & toasted marshmellow) while Smuttynose's is a bit hoppier than your average brown.  Any will serve you well.

More info:  

• Ellies:  http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/30/2894/?ba=bros
• Hazelnut Nectar:  http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/132/1339/?ba=bros
• Smuttynose Old Brown Dog:  http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/141/184/?ba=bros

Don't drink Guinness

Oh look at me I think I'm drinking good beer... or I am Irish or pretend to be.  Wow it's BLACK isn't that strange?  It's so Thick!  

Bullcrap.  On all accounts.  Congrats on trying nitro for the first time, but good lord.  Guinness is thin and watery.  It has a fantastic head, but that's about all you can say for it.  Very light flavors, very light mouthfeel...  just because it looks like it should be thick doesn't mean it actually is.

It USED to be a good beer, and in Ireland it actually is, but the US version is made from malt alternatives and syrup.  

So... assuming you aren't really looking to fit a trend, drink car bombs, or pretend to be Irish for a day what you're really doing is looking for a good stout.  Something deep and rich and satisfying.  Then you should

Drink Alesmith Speedway Stout, Bear Republic's Big Bear stout, and Founders KBS (Kentucky Breakfast Stout)

Speedway Stout is easily my favorite beer.  It's dark and rich and filled with chocolate and coffee flavors.  THIS is a thick beer.  This is an 'end the night in front of the fireplace with some dark chocolate' kind of beer.  It's incredibly strong for a beer (12%) but you don't taste much of the heat at all.  Very smooth.  Big Bear is a bit hoppier (but still smooth)  and tends to focus in more on malted or dark berry flavors.  KBS is a burbon barrell aged vanilla stout.  Sometimes burbon aged beer really gets overwhelmed but not in KBS, this is just a fine ass beer.

more info:

• Speedway Stout:  http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/396/3833
• Big Bear:  http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/610/1658/?ba=bros
• KBS:  http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1199/19960/?ba=bros

More to come next time.  In the meantime, do you drink shitty beer?  Willing to try something new?  Let me know what you're drinking now and I'll compile GOOD versions of what you're looking for.