Four more Bruins hit the pavement.

By: Waldorf

THREE offensive linemen have left the team: Alex Akingbulu, Sean Seawards, and Jax Wacaser.  Also, punter Austin Kent has left the team as well. 

Of the three OL, only Akingbulu was expected to contribute, but it's going to be tough to lose three live bodies from an already thin unit.  Wacaser opted for a medical retirement, but it's thought that the other two guys could possibly transfer; it's unclear if they'll be allowed to stay on scholarship. 

It's also unclear just why they left the team.  According to a 24/7 report, Akingbulu, Seawards, and Kent were told there "wasn't a spot for them on the team."  I don't really know WTF that means, but this is obviously an example of Kelly purging the deadwood from the program.  It was bound to happen, and 6 other players had already previously bailed.  I just wish it hadn't been three OL, because pretty soon UCLA will be putting wide receivers and defensive backs on the OL. 

As far as the punter goes, who really gives a shit. He'd been pretty much replaced by a walk-on last season anyway. 

You know, sometimes a purge is good for the system.  It's like if you spend years and years eating a lot of red meat -- you know, steaks and beef ribs and lots of roasts, etc.  Every now and then you need a colon blow to get rid of the meat dingleberries hanging around in your colon. 

It's also like the purge I experienced when I was in the Red Army, back in the late 30s and early 40s.  I was a junior officer, and for some reason Uncle Joe Stalin liked me so I was one of the few officers in my entire regiment who wasn't murdered.  I figured sooner or later I'd get shot in the fucking face, just like a lot of my friends already had, but Uncle Joe kept me around, and pretty soon I was a lieutenant colonel in charge of an entire batallion of infantry. 

Because of this, Uncle Joe earned my respect, and I began to appreciate the lean, mean fighting machine that was the Soviet army, all made possible by Uncle Joe's purge of the deadwood. 

Of course, the Nazis hit us hard in '41, and I soon realized Uncle Joe's plan was stupid because he'd effectively killed all the leadership, and most of us didn't know whether to shit or go blind.  We got our asses handed to us by the Nazi hoard, I got taken prisoner, and fortunately I was able to escape captivity somewhere outside a Polish prison, where I made my way to England and eventually became a fighter pilot for the RAF.  But I digress. The point is, will Chip Kelly be our Uncle Joe?  Stay tuned, folks, it's going to be fun to watch!!!!!!

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