Biden and the Quest for the Perfect Vagina

By: malapert



Biden and the Quest for the Perfect Vagina

Biden and the Quest for the Perfect Vagina

by Marta Hernandez in politics 8 Comments

Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden’s crusade for just the right vagina to accompany him on his odyssey to the White House continues.

We have recently learned that Stacey Abrams Grimace, despite her vagina of color, will probably not be Biden’s pick for a running mate, even in the face of intense pressure from the proglodyte wing of the Democratic Party. Grimace’s only qualification for the position of Vice President of the United States was… um… well…

Yeah, I can’t think of anything a failed gubernatorial candidate who refuses to acknowledge her loss, who knows next to nothing about foreign policy other than ORANGEMANBAD, who writes bad romance novels, and who resembles a social justice parade float can bring to the office of the Vice President.

So the pursuit for just the right plumbing continues. Biden made a commitment a few months ago to only select a running mate with a vagina, and since then, pressure has mounted to pick a colorful one, as opposed to a white vagina, because no appeasement to the social justice hyenas will ever be sufficient.

CNN, further dropping (as if that were even possible) any pretense of objectivity, is hand-picking Joe Biden’s partner vagina for him.

Biden already made history by committing to choose a female running mate. Fortunately for him, there are a number of talented and experienced women who are legitimate contenders for the spot. We believe California Sen. Kamala Harris, Florida Rep. Val Demings and former National Security Adviser Susan Rice should be at the top of Biden’s list.

Wow, stellar choices there, CNN.

Kamala Harris is possibly the most authoritarian of the three, incarcerating parents of truant children, actively denigrating any political nominee who might show a teensy bit of religion, and forcing companies to disclose financial data to the government to ensure that they are paying women as much as they’re paying men – at the point of a government gun.

Susan Rice, who famously lied on talk shows to cover up the Obama Administration’s bungling in Benghazi, which left Ambassador Chris Stevens, Information Officer Sean Smith, and two CIA officers Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods dead.

A person smiling for the camera  Description automatically generatedCourtesy of Donkey HoteyCC 2.0

And Val Demings, whom Black Lives Matter activists aren’t going to like because as Orlando Police Chief she did not immediately condemn one of her officers for breaking the back of an 84-year-old man. But she seems the least offensive out of the three. She at least serves on the House Intelligence and Homeland Security committees, which puts her head and shoulders above Grimace, whose only foreign policy “experience” was writing an insipid, poorly informed article in Foreign Affairs.

CNN is obviously aiming for a vagina of color, but there’s another vagina whose star is on the rise: Wisconsin Senator Tammy Baldwin. Why is Baldwin’s vagina special and shouldn’t be discounted merely because she is white? Because Baldwin’s vagina is gay and consorts with other vaginas!

Whoa! Mind blown.

When she was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1999, she was Wisconsin’s first female member of Congress and the first openly gay nonincumbent elected to the House. When Baldwin won a seat in the Senate in 2012, she became that body’s first out gay member, too.

And if asked to run with Joe – or in this case limp along, dragging poor, senile Joe by the short and curlies – Tammy Baldwin would obviously accept, and the media, including the hags on The View, are having a collective orgasm at the thought of a vagina that’s seen more vagina than probably Joe Biden being Vice President of the United States.

 

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