About coach Lynn

I have it from unimpeachable sources that USC hired Lynn as the new defensive coordinator because the "perception" was that he was a good DC, but they knew he really wasn't. They knew that the real genius behind UCLA going from 89th total D in '22 to about 11th total D in '23 was Fatty himself, Chip Kelly, who just told the UCLA defensive players to "go get football" and the mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers did just that, but that was only when they wanted to, and don't tax them too much with a swinging gate and a TE playing QB or they might not be able to handle it, but Fatty hadn't anticipated that, and for the most part it was just "go get football" and the defense did their best, but USC hired Lynn anyway because they wanted to make UCLA mad even though they don't really care about UCLA because their real rival is Notre Dame and they only insisted that UCLA join them in going to the B1G because they needed a travel partner, which is another way of saying they needed someone to shake their dicks for them after they piss, but that's another story, and they also hired Lynn because he's a Negro, and it's good optics for USC, but they know that Fatty was really running the show at UCLA, that Lynn had nothing to do with defense, but they knew that Fatty is too entrenched at UCLA and wouldn't go to USC even if they paid him in doughnuts, Corona beer, and tortilla chips. They knew Lynn would jump at the chance to be a USC coach because for his entire life he wanted to be a trogan, he worships Mike Garrett, and Mike Garrett told him to be a trogan because everyone wants to be one anyway, and Lynn finally saw the light. But USC knew that they needed to hire an adult to tell the Negro what to do, so they hired a Midwestern white guy who eats buffalo shit for breakfast, and they told him they needed him to show the Negro the ropes, and then someday in about 2029 the USC players might learn how to tackle someone carrying the football. Lynn was told that he was going to have to answer to white guy, but that he was getting paid $2 million per year so he better be okay with that, and to USC's delight coach Lynn said "No problem, massah, I'll do whatever coach white guy says, because I am used to doing that at UCLA, where coach Fatty really runs the show and knows everything about defense and taught me everything I know anyway, so I'll shut up and do what I'm told and be good with it, and you won't be hearing nothin' but yessir massah out of me no more!" Coach White Guy was happy to get a new job in L.A., where they have indoor plumbing and the temperature rises above -23 in winter, and he was willing to accept the job for $25.00 an hour because that's more than he was getting paid at Buttfuck State University, and he really wanted to eat In-N-Out burgers anyway, and he babysat Negros at Buttfuck State anyway, so it's not a big deal to babysit another one at USC. But the big reason USC hired Lynn was because they shit their collective pants after losing to UCLA, and if you can't beat them you must steal their perceived best asset, because there is no way you're going to steal Fatty away from UCLA because he's the bestest thing that ever happened in Westwood and he knew he had the bestest thing going in Westwood, and the results speak for themselves - a .500 record after six seasons, no bowl wins, and fewer than 10 wins against teams that finished the season with winning records, and USC was so enamored with that resume that they had to hire Lynn because he was the next bestest thing to Fatty, and because he was the perceived brilliance behind UCLA's defense, and because he's a Negro who would thrive at USC under white leadership and supervision.

I hope this clears up all the confusion in the other threads about who was really running UCLA's defense, and why USC hired that other white dude. It's pretty simple if you know where to look.