grade I had a huge crush on this girl, Susan Balstra. I starred at her in class. Found ways to bump into her in the hall. I loved how she dressed. How she smelled. How she rolled her eyes. Everything. One day after school, I told her how I felt. She blushed but it was awkward. It was obvious, she wasn't feeling it. She was nice but I picked up the truth. It broke my heart. It hurt.
The next day I told my buddies, they listened but then they started to help me. "Bro, she's a little short and chubby". "Do you notice, she never laughs". "She's not athletic and was in the band in 6th grade." "I saw her older brother, he has died black bangs and wears a Frankie Goes to Hollywood tshirt" Shit like that. The truth.
Anyways, I couldn't really see it at the time but you know what, they were right. They were very, very, very right.
Susan Balstra bump.
The High Point of your academic and social life.
Fuck you, Fraud! I married Susan, she's smokin' hot! And her fag brother is a software mogul worth $600 million!
Its about time I told you, I felt up Susan Balstra behind the cafeteria. Got to second base which was pretty good for seventh grade. Won her affection with a cinnamon roll and the rest was history. Sorry, I would have kept my distance had I known you called dibs. They were very, very wrong, Susan was wild.