Looks like a search committee has been formed. Feel free to nominate me. I will make football the top and only priority. Everything else will go to pot but we will win football games. I will illegally divert all of the donor funds to NIL.
A two or three year prison sentence is fine, I need to get in better shape and a couple of years in the prison yard will have me yolked. Just put money in my commissary account or whatever the food account is called. I'm going to need lots of protein. I will compromise, I want manicotti but I will eat a grilled cheese sandwich from the cell heat radiator. No problem.
Don’t worry, they’ve got a committee on it. And as you know, committees are where great ideas go to die.