The players aren't very good. On defense, maybe one or two guys will be on NFL rosters in 3 years. Alexander will probably be a starter but he'll just be average. UCLA's terrible RG held him in check. Bullucks is overrated. Alex Johnson is way better. People think USC has talent because of guys like Domani Jackson. He might bounce around in the NFL for a few years before going to Canada.
On offense, none of those WRs will do anything in the NFL. Maybe one might have 50 career catches. The RB might make it as a backup. Maybe one lineman will make the NFL. Arizona has better players.
UCLA turned their defense around but they already had NFL-bound Latu, Johnson, Ramsey, Toaia, Smith, and the Murphy twins who are good enough to make NFL rosters.
If Chip gets an LT and RG in the portal, the Bruins will be favored against SC next year. It'll be one of their 6 wins.
I do think, despite your satirical post, that USC does lack talent on both sides of the ball. It seems that even Gomer had better skill players. Caleb Williams is the obvious exception. But when I think of guys like those big wide receivers Gomer had...I can't remember their names, but they were beasts and they're in the NFL. USC doesn't have any guys like that anymore, although Rice is good.
On defense, forget it. I'm not sure I've ever seen a worse defensive line. Some of those guys just lean on people, literally. I don't think any defensive coordinator could have done much with those dudes.
Unfortunately, most of the starters for UCLA are seniors. Next year in the Big Ten, UCLA is going to look like USC did this year, only worse because they won't have a quarterback.